Honest Calculation
by EpicAwesomeness
Summary: Once upon a time, not very long ago, there was a girl. This girl wasn't normal, even before she learned there was life hidden amongst the stars. She was never fazed by anything she was confronted with. She took it in stride, never taking the "normal route". Especially if it couldn't be explained. Her name was Alex. No pairings. Just general tomfoolery.
1. Sentience

_**Prologue **_

_Once upon a time, not very long ago, there was a girl. This girl wasn't normal, even before she learned there was life hidden amongst the stars. She was never fazed by anything she was confronted with. She took it in stride, never taking the "normal route". Especially if it couldn't be explained. Actually, she was enthralled and thrived with the weird and unexplained. She had always believed there was life somewhere out there. The universe was too big to be alone in. _

_This strange girl had pitch black hair with small silver highlights that went down to her shoulder blades. Her intense gray eyes portrayed her as in constant anger and disappointment. That made her actual anger much scarier. She, regretfully, had an hourglass figure that caused more harm than good. Everyone tried hitting on her. Today, she wore a black fedora and a black sweater, framing her green T-shirt with the bio-hazard symbol in the middle of her chest. Her dark blue jeans had intentional rips going up her thighs. Camo combat boots adorned with spikes completed her look._

(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-(-_-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)-)

**Chapter 1: Sentience **

I sat in the back of the class waiting for my best friend, Sam Witwicky, to start his family genealogy report on his great-great-grandfather. Although I'm pretty sure great history like that would be wasted on this roomful of testosterone and giggling imbeciles. I was leaning back in my chair while my arms were crossed and my glare was directed at anyone who looked my way.

"Sorry, I got a lot of stuff." He apologized, none-too-gently emptying his backpack of its contents onto the front table. I sat up straighter so I could hear him better.

"Okay. For my family gene-" He was rudely cut off by a projectile connecting with his neck. The teacher bolted up out of his seat and glared at the laughing students.

"Who did- Who did that!?" He spluttered and pointed at the class.

"People! Responsibility." He sat back down in his office chair and reclined. Meanwhile, I glared daggers at the perpetrator's head. Trent DeMarco, the class jock asshole. The blonde idiot was probably showing off to his girlfriend; Mikaela Banes. She deserves more than him. Sam has actually been crushing on her for ages, ever since grade school, actually. They would be so cute together! Anyway, Sam restarted his presentation.

"For my family genealogy report, I decided to do it on my great-great-grandfather, who was a famous man, Captain Archibald Witwicky. Very famous explorer." He reached over the table he was standing behind and grabbed a folded piece of paper. He unfolded it to reveal a map of the Arctic Circle.

"In fact, he was the first to explore the Arctic Circle, which is a big deal. In 1897, he took 41 brave sailors straight into the Arctic Shelf." He paused a moment to let the information sink in. I found myself enthralled with the story, even if I've heard it a million times.

"So that's the story right?" He set the map on the desk and picked up several items, informing the class what they were as he showed them.

"And here we have some of the basic tools used by 19th century seaman." The class laughed at the word and I cracked an inappropriate smile before I composed myself and my dirty mind.

"This here is the quadrant, which you can get for 80 bucks. This is all for sale, by the way." He added. I rolled my gray eyes and sighed in exasperation. He's always looking for a way to gain money.

"Like the sextant here." The students around me laughed again.

"50 dollars for this, which is a bargain." He picked up some old, cracked Harry Potter glasses after putting down the other instrument.

"These are pretty cool. These are my grandfather's glasses. I haven't quite gotten them appraised yet, but they've seen many cool things."

"Are you going to sell me his liver?" The teacher interrupted.

"Mr. Witwicky, this isn't show and sell. It's the 11th grade. I don't think your grandfather would be particularly proud of what you're doing." For once, we were in agreement.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just, you know, this is all going toward my car fund. You can tell your folks. It's on eBay. I take Pay Pal. Cold hard cash works too. And the compass makes a great gift for Columbus Day."

"Sam!" The teacher warned.

"Sorry." Sam moved the items and grabbed a newspaper clipping with a picture of his Grandfather and some strange symbols.

"Unfortunately, my great-great-grandfather, the genius that he was, wound up going blind and crazy in a psycho ward, drawing these strange symbols and babbling on about some giant ice man that he thought he discovered." The bell decided to be a douche and ring during Sam's presentation, prompting everyone to leave. Sam started trying to convince some random classmate to buy the glasses. I stood up, grabbing my TARDIS backpack after everyone had left and started collecting Sam's presentation props, placing them in his backpack.

"Okay. Pretty good right?" Sam asked hopefully, smiling at the teacher.

"I'd say a solid B-." I snorted and Sam sent a half-hearted glare my way, causing me to smirk back at him.

" A B-?" Sam asked disbelievingly.

"You were hawking you great-grandfather's crap in my classroom." The teacher reasoned.

"No, kids enjoy... look, can you do me a favor? Can you look out that window for a second? You see my father? He's the guy in the green car." The teacher nodded.

Hearing enough, I walked out holding our backpacks. I wanted to be surprised by the outcome. I went through the halls, not trying to make eye contact with anyone and made it outside of the building. Finally free of that prison, I took a deep breath of fresh air and exhaled. I scanned the street in front of the school and spotted the deep green of Ron's, Sam's father, convertible. I flashed a smile and walked over, climbing into the backseat and ignoring the door. I shed the heavy backpacks and waited for Sam with Ron. We didn't have to wait long for he appeared soon after I settled in.

"Yes! A-. It's an A though." He reasoned to his father.

"Wait, wait, wait. I can't see." Ron steadied and studied the paper and confirmed it was indeed, an A-.

"So I'm good?" Sam asked tentatively.

"Your good." I confirmed.

Ron started up his Austin Healey BJ8 and drove us out of the school parking lot. He took a couple of turns and drove for a little bit. My face adopted a smirk as a Porsche Dealership came into view. Sam saw us turn into the lot and started yelling in excitement.

"No. No no no no no! Dad! You've gotta be kidding me!" His face lit up like a kid in a candy store. Ron glanced back at me through his rear view mirror before smirking evilly.

"Yeah, I am. Your not getting a Porsche." Ron and I started laughing while poor Sam looked pissed and betrayed.

"You think that's funny?" He accused moodily.

"Yeah, I think it's funny. You really think I'd get you a Porsche? For your first car?" Ron asked incredulously.

Only one of the car's occupants noticed the driverless yellow Camaro following them into a different, crappy dealership. She secretly ogled the car and thought nothing of the absent driver because 'hey, embrace the weird'. I watched it from the corner of my eye until it disappeared into the dealership.

I reverted my attention back to Sam and Ron and noticed they we had stopped and they were getting out. I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and vaulted over the door.

"Hey, guys?" They turned to me.

"I'm gonna start looking around." They nodded, Ron in a better mood than Sam.

"Have fun." The former responded.

With a snicker at Sam's get-me-out-of-here look, I wandered about until I found what I was looking for. The 1977 F-body Camaro with no driver. It was painted yellow with black stripes and had primer and rust patches, a riveted hood scoop, Cragar SS wheels up front and Eric Vaughn Real Wheels in the back, marine-grade vinyl seats, and even what looked to be an eight-track player.

Thinking it might be remote controlled, I searched the car for an antennae other than the one for the radio. Not finding one, I stood in front of the car and put my hands on my hips, fixating it with one of my fiercest glares.

"Alright, I don't know what you are, who you are, or why your here but I'm going to ask you some questions. You _will _answer me by turning your tires left for yes, and right for no. Understand?" My no nonsense tone of voice was intense alone but coupled with my glare was enough for even the toughest man to submit.

After a while, I started feeling like an idiot glaring at an inanimate car until the front tires started turning to the left. The intensity of my glare lessened and I allowed a small smile of triumph to slip through.

"Good. Now, Do you come in peace?" I felt a little silly for the cliche but nevertheless, waited patiently for my answer.

Left.

"Are you here for a reason?" I asked this thinking it might have crash-landed.

Left.

"Are there more of you?"

Left.

"Is the reason you came here a human?"

Left.

"Is the human in question close by?"

Left.

"Is it me?"

Right.

"Is it Ron?"

Right.

"Sam?"

Left. So it's after Sam, is it...

"Hey, Alex! Did you find something?" I heard Sam call, heading towards me with his Dad and someone I assume to be the owner or a car dealer. I looked at the car as if I could see its soul, and made my decision.

"Yeah, come over here!" I answered back.

"If you do anything to betray my trust, I will personally take you apart, piece by piece and slowly melt each piece individually. Then I will turn you into a toaster and I will enjoy every second of it." I threatened, coldly and quietly. It must have understood because it subtly backed up a few inches.

"Hey. Is this the car?" Sam made it over panting and eyeing the car appreciatively.

"Dude, you've gotta start working out. And no, video games don't count. But yeah, this is the car. It's nice, right."

"It ain't bad. The paint's a little faded but you could fix that right?"

"Oh, I don't know. I might need a little something." I wriggled my eyebrows suggestively.

"_Fine_. I'll let you drive later." he huffed. I smiled broadly and fist pumped, before heading to the passenger side door. It barely opened by itself and I briefly hesitated before climbing in. I felt the seat adjust to me and I smiled. Sam was already in and he wiped off an area of dirt on the steering wheel, revealing a symbol. It looked like a sad face.

"Feels good." Sam commented. I made a noise of agreement.

"How much?" I asked the dealer, maybe a little too coldly. He and Ron had just arrived.

"We'll, considering the semi-classic nature of the vehicle, with the slick wheels and the custom paint job-" he was cut off by Sam.

"But the paint's faded." He protested

"Yeah, but its custom, Sam." I informed him.

"It's custom faded?" Sam sounded surprised.

"It's your first car. I wouldn't expect you to understand." I made an incredulous noise and looked to Sam, pointing my thumb to the guy. He shrugged.

"5 grand." The dealer informed Ron.

"No, I'm not paying over 4. Sorry." He apologized to Sam and I.

"Kids, come on now, get out the car." I rolled my eyes but complied, sighing.

"If you really want Sam and I, your going to have to... convince this guy to lower the price. I don't care how." I whispered, hoping the car picked it up. I walked over to the driver's side, while I was saying this, to express my disappointment.

As soon as Sam closed his door, the passenger door flung open, hitting the pale, old, yellow Punch-Buggy beside it. The force of the opening forced the buggy a few feet back into cans of stuff. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to hide my pleased smirk.

I looked to Sam, whose eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline. The next thing we knew, we were on the ground, trying to protect our poor ears from what sounded like an earsplitting car alarm. It ended in what sounded like an oxygen-deprived laugh. After the initial shock, we looked around and our jaws met the floor. All of the cars in the lot had their windows blown out, except for the yellow Camaro.

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**AN: This is my first ever fanfic (so excited!)**

**Ill try to update when I can. (school sucks)**

**Flames will be used to melt Bumblebee. (Don't let poor Bumblebee melt!)**


	2. Bumblebee

**AN: I totally forgot to do the disclaimer last chapter. So think of this as one for this chapter and last chapter. And thank you to my reviewers. Truly, whenever I read that reviews inspire authors, I thought, "Pssh, yeah right." But I can now say that it's true. That myth is busted! Props to anyone to find the Captain America 2 reference. **

**Disclaimer: ****This is a work of derivative fiction, obviously. That being said, I claim no ownership of characters or settings from the source material they are derived from. Those two properties belong to their respective copyright owners and this writing is not intended to infringe upon any and all said copyright.**

_**Italics- Bumblebee speaking.**_

**Chapter 2: Bumblebee**

The dealer gawked at all of the broken car windows and money down the drain before spinning back to us, four fingers held up.

"Four thousand!" He exclaimed, voice cracking in distress.

"That was effective." I muttered, no one noticing. I clapped my hands together, startling Sam.

"Okay, you two go buy the car legally before I steal it. I'll just be sitting in it. Just in case someone comes by and is like,"Oh look, I want that amazing car right there."" I shrugged and raised an eyebrow as if it'll prove my point. They agreed anyway and I bounded into the driver's seat, putting my hands on the wheel.

"That was a pretty awesome move with the door and the alarm." I felt obliged to tell the car.

_"Why, thank you lil' lady... It wasn't really too much... Or... That hard... I promise..."_

I smirked and stole a sideways glance toward the radio.

"So you can speak! Albeit through recorded clippings. Still, it'll be easier to talk to you if you can talk back."

_"I agree..." _I decided to use this new development to my advantage and ask more questions.

"When will we meet the others like you?"

_"ETA... Within the week... ASAP..."_

"So, a couple of days. Are they peaceful as well?" They'd better be.

_"They are... Different but... Eccentric... Good people..."_

"I see. When are you going to tell Sam?" I wondered. _  
_

_"When the time is right..."_

"Cliché but not very helpful." I noted.

_"I'm sorry... I haven't been issued a command... Yet..." _So he takes orders. I filed the information away for later use.

"That's okay. Just, if you plan on doing something without him, gain my attention somehow while staying inconspicuous. I don't trust you yet. You'll have to earn it." my mind is made up.

_"That hurts... My heart... Lil' lady..." _I only laughed while the car's frame shook. I'm guessing that's its version of a laugh.

"I hope you don't mind, but I am tired of referring to you as an "it" in my head, so I will refer to you as a "he" instead. Your model looks to be more of a "he" than a "she" anyway. You also need a name. I'm sensing Bumblebee only because of your paint job and this cute little "Beeotch" bumblebee air freshener."

_"Oh, I don't mind at all..."_

"Good." A flash of something fleshy colored caught my attention. I looked and it turned out to be Sam, waving his newly acquired papers and running towards us at full speed.

"Oh look, a wild Doofus appeared! Took you long enough." I laughed at him. He rolled his eyes and stopped in front of the door.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and move over." I snickered and switched to the passenger side, mindful of the very much alive car and my hard, combat boots.

"So, onward to your house?" I questioned.

"Yep." He answered simply and turned on the car, pulling out of the shitty dealership.

"I was thinking the name Bumblebee." I remarked, fiddling with the glove box.

"What?" He questioned, confused. I rolled my eyes.

"The name for your car. Bumblebee. It fits." I shrugged.

"That's stupid." He shook his head.

"Your face is stupid." He gasped in mock-hurt with a hand over his heart.

"Your such a weirdo." I commented.

"I take that as a complement."

"You would." I snorted. We arrived at his house and I got out, lightly shutting the door behind me. I looked back at him and he was just getting out. I grinned and ran into the house, beating him to his room A.K.A "man cave". His mom's peach Chihuahua Mojo, was laying down on Sam's twin bed.

"Hey Mojo, let's see where Sam hid your pain pills, crackhead." Mojo had a little accident the other day and his front leg had to be put into a cast. I personally think he did it on purpose so he could have more pain pills. Enter Sam.

"I have the car now I need the girl. I need the money to take out the girl." He muttered to himself. He checked his eBay page, Ladiesman217, and checked on his grandfather's glasses he put up for bids. No bids.

"0 bids. Great, I'm broke." He complained. He stood up, leaving his computer on and went to check himself out in the mirror. I turned off his computer for him and watched him pose.

"Oh no! Sam!" I exclaimed in a faked panic. He whirled around in a panic as well.

"What!" He asked frantically.

"You're still ugly!" I smiled innocently as he huffed and halfheartedly glared at me. I melodramatically pretended to die from being stabbed in the heart by his glare and he laughed, shaking his head.

"Alright, let's go get Miles." He chuckled. We headed outside towards Bumblebee and I wisely decided to walk along Ron's path while Sam walked onto the grass. He and his father engaged in an argument in which Ron won, obviously. Then Sam started complaining about Mojo's jewelry. While this happened, I asked Ron if I could stay over. He agreed as long as nothing "crazy" happened. I recoiled and made a face in disgust before I lightly pushed him and scolded him for thinking that way. He laughed and I seated myself in to Bee's backseat.

"God, your so slow Sam! Hurry up!" I complained. He made a show of walking extremely slow, making me groan in exasperation before getting into Bee and starting him. We headed toward Miles' house to pick him up so we all could go to the lake. I settled down to doze a little before we got there.

I woke up to the sound of Bee's engine shutting down. I opened my eyes and found out we had arrived at the lake, Miles in tow. They both got out and I followed, Miles almost shutting the door in my face.

"Don't shut the door in my face you hippie." I playfully insulted. He snorted and tried to shut the door further before suddenly stopping, allowing me to fall out on my face.

"You asshole!" I chased him until we caught up to Sam, Miles tagging him.

"Base!" He shouted. I cursed while Sam huffed.

"Don't use me in your games!" He protested.

"Aw, but Sammy, your too fun not to!" Miles joked. He earned a playful shove in return.

"Oh, my god, guys, Mikaela's here. Just don't do anything weird alright? I'm good right?" He asked worriedly.

"Yeah, you're good." Miles confirmed.

"Oh, hi." Sam said to Trent when we walked up to his truck.

"Hey, bro. That car. It's nice. So what are you guys doing here?" He asked. I was close to punching him for that crack against Bumblebee. Sam subtly looked for a reason before seeing Miles climb a tree beside him.

"We're here to climb this tree." Sam stated.

"I see that. It looks... It looks fun." Trent sneered. I crossed my arms.

"You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right?" He asked, very well knowing he did.

"Oh, no, no, that... No. That wasn't like a real tryout. I was researching a book I was writing."

"Oh yeah? What's it about? Sucking at sports?"

"No, it's about the link between brain damage and football. No, your friends'll love it. You know, it's got mazes in it and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures. It's a lot of fun." He insinuated. My mouth hung open, impressed and surprised but I forced it closed.

"That's funny." Trent must have caught on because he had enough sense to look threatening. I fixated him with my glare and he took a couple hasty steps back. I smirked.

"Okay, okay. You know what? Stop." Mikaela and I decided enough was enough and I motioned for her to intervene, effectively drawing Trent's attention to her. I mouthed a thank you to her. And she nodded. We've been friends for a while. She knows I don't approve of Trent but I will put up with it if she helps reign him in.

I turned back to Sam and Miles only to find them halfway back to Bee. I ran to catch up to them and past them.

"To your left." I said to Miles as I past him. He smirked and ran with me. I made it to Bee first and bolted inside, closing the door behind me. I stuck out my tongue at Miles but he grinned and slid in through the window, opening the door enough to lay his feet on the side mirror.

"That has got to be the laziest, most active thing I have ever seen." I commented. Miles grinned back at me and winked.

"You're just jealous you didn't think of it." I shrugged.

"Touché." I didn't notice Sam lean against Bee's hood until Bee played part of a song called "Drive" on his radio. Miles asked what was wrong with Sam's radio.

"I'm driving her home tonight." Sam mumbled, ignoring Miles' question.

"What? She's an evil jock concubine, man. Let her hitchhike!" Miles protested.

"She lives about 10 miles from here. This is my only chance. You've got to be understanding, alright?" Sam pleaded, turning his head toward Miles.

"Alright, we'll put her in the back with Alex and I'll be quiet."

"Did you just say up her in the back!?" Sam asked incredulously, rounding on his friend.

"I called shotgun!" Miles protested.

"I'm not putting her in the back. You gotta get out of my car." I sat there dumbfounded. Did he really just say that?

"That's a party foul." The blonde informed Sam.

"What rules?"

"Bros before hoes!"

"Miles, I'm begging you to get out of my car."

"You can't do this to me." Miles was just as dumbfounded as I was.

"You gotta get out of my car right now." Miles begrudgingly opened the door his feet were resting on further before sliding out and shut the door, allowing Sam to drive off to Mikaela. The shock keeping my mouth closed dissipated, allowing me to speak my mind.

"What the fuck, Sam? That was very Trent of you." I commented, allowing my anger to seep through my voice.

"I'll apologize to him later." He said distracted.

"You fucking better." I sat back trying to cool down when we picked up Mikaela. I was sufficiently calm by the time Mikaela opened the door and sat down.

"Oh look, a wild Mikaela appeared!" I commented, making said person jump.

"Oh, Alex it's you." She took a breath.

"Hey, girl. Thanks for the save by the way. Trent's lucky his face didn't connect to his beautiful truck."

"No problem. After all, I can't date a guy with his face punched in." She joked.

"No kidding. Why do you date him anyway?" I asked seriously.

"I don't know. I guess I just have this weakness for hot guys with a tight waist and really big arms." She admitted.

Sam appeared to have an idea because he flexed his arm, trying to pass it of by saying something about the disco ball hanging beside Bee's air freshener and the cab light. I rolled my eyes and settled down, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the awkward conversation about school occurring in the front. I did, however, pay very close attention when Bee's engine stuttered.

I was worried until the song, "Sexual Healing" played over Bee's radio. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. Instead, I decided to look out the window and almost wished I hadn't. We were on a hill type area and the sun decided to start setting for the day. It was a very romantic scene poor Sam had to explain to Mikaela. Speaking of which, she just told Sam to pop the hood. I'm guessing, hoping, she meant Bumblebee's.

"Stupid. Shut up, shut up, shut up." With every word, Sam kicked the dash until the music stopped. Horrified, I snarled and pushed Sam out of Bumblebee. He landed on the ground hard and made a sharp, pained sound. I didn't feel bad for him though.

"Dammit, Sam! Don't kick the poor thing!" I ran my fingers soothingly along the dash where Sam kicked Bee, also cleaning off some dirt Sam had on his shoes. Sam sat on the ground for a few seconds, flabbergasted before he stood up and shook it off. He walked to the hood to talk with Mikaela while I talked to Bumblebee.

"I'm sorry Bee, I know he didn't mean it. He was just embarrassed. Though personally, I think you were on the right track." I whispered to him, winking. The knob on the radio that controlled volume lowered greatly before he responded.

"_It's ok... that barely hurt at all..." _He played quietly.

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that he did it though." I protested. Bee didn't have a chance to respond because Sam climbed back into the drivers seat and tried to start him. I leaned back into the backseat. After a few tries, Mikaela lost her patience and decided to walk the rest if the way to her house. She picked up her purse from the passenger seat and started walking.

"All right. Walking's healthy right?" He responded to her. He then frantically tried several times to start Bee until he suddenly did, Bee bellowing, "Baby Come Back" through his radio. Sam called for Mikaela to wait while he quickly slammed the hood shut and drove in front of her to stop her. She smiled and climbed back in. A few minutes of more awkward silence later found us slowing to a stop in front of Mikaela's house.

"There it is." Sam commented proudly, looking at the house.

"I had fun." I announced, a smirk evident in my voice. Sam ignored me but Mikaela smiled back at me.

"See. Some people enjoy my company Sam." I rubbed in his face. He stuck his tongue out at me and I commented how mature he was. He thanked me for yet another complement today and Mikaela shook her head at our antics.

"Thanks for listening." She said to Sam. He waved it off as no big deal.

"You... You think I'm shallow?" She asked him seriously. We looked at her incredulously.

"Do I thing you're- no, no, no. I think there's more than meets the eye with you." He responded awkwardly but honestly. That wasn't the answer she was looking for but she accepted it. I decided to put my two cents in.

"Mikaela, you are the most beautiful, smartest person I have ever met. Don't sell yourself short, honey." I reassured her. She smiled at me again and said goodbye to us. After she got out of the car, Sam started mocking his own choice of words. That is until she waved at him At her door before she entered.

"Oh, God. Oh, my God. I love my car." He laughed before driving us back to his house.


End file.
